Three Reasons to Talk About Sex
We all remember that cring-ey moment when our moms or dads sat us down and pulled out a book.
There was a super awkward talk. Then it was over. We survived it. And never spoken about again. Thankfully! Well, those days are done! Parents today have to be proactive when it comes to talking about sex with our kids. We can no longer have the one-and-done, hide-behind-the-book chats with our kids and feel confident that we have educated them. Because we haven't. But the world is.
We have to start talking to our kids in an open and honest way. We have to keep the conversation going and be willing to go there with them.
Here's why.
YOUR JOB IS TO PREPARE AND EQUIP THEM. Your kids have access to anything they want to read about or see. You cannot keep them from it. If you have content filters, they can most likely get around them. If they can't, they probably have friends who can and will happily share it with them. They will encounter sex in some form or another. Rather than keeping them sheltered, we should be preparing them for what they will encounter.
Our job is to prepare our kids. We can do this by educating them. When they are equipped with the truth about sex, then they will be better able to recognize lies and misconceptions. They will be more prepared to respond to sexual advances, jokes, messages, and the myriad of other potential encounters.
CULTURE TODAY IS MARKETING SEX TO YOUR KIDS. Today, our kids are faced with sexual content from all directions. A culture that markets sex to younger and younger audiences. A 2005 article in Teen Vogue Magazine addresses sexual content from how to kiss to anal sex. Teen TV shows such as Outer Banks and Rosedale are showing sexual content more and more.
Media and culture see your teens as money makers, and they know that sex sells. They don't care about the negative impact it will have on your teen. They don't care if your teen is old enough or mature enough to handle what they're putting out there. They are willing to go there. That's why you have to be willing to go there too.
YOU CAN CONTROL THE NARRATIVE. When you start early and continue to have open and honest conversations with your kids, you are controlling the narrative. Whatever your values and ideas about sex are, you have an opportunity to pass them on to your kids. When you create a safe space for them to ask questions and show that you have answer and you're willing to share, they will come to you.
Your kids see you as the main source for correct information. But if you are not willing to share that info, they will go somewhere else to find it. If you want them to buy into your value system surrounding sex, then you have to communicate it to them. Don't rely on church or school to teach your kids about sex, because they are starting way too late.
Talk with your kids. It doesn't have to be complicated. It just needs to happen. Start early. Keep it going. Be authentic. It's not how you do it that matters so much as that you do it.
If you need some extra guidance or just encouragement, check out the guide, Not Your Mama's Sex Talk, here.
